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Appendix 4 Excerpt : Eleven Principles for Sexual Behavior

Appendix 4: Eleven Principles for Sexual Behavior

  1. Your body, and the decision about how to use it, belongs only to you. Anyone who tries to force or manipulate you into having sex of any kind does not respect himself or herself, and does not respect you.
  2. How you choose to use your body and how you choose not to use your body become part of who you are. The choices you make today tell you and the rest of the world what you’re about and, more importantly, how you see yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
  3. Any kind of sexual behavior that involves another person is an expression of intimacy. The more sexual you choose to be with someone, the more you are choosing to share who you really are.
  4. Being sexual with someone can be fun and playful, but it is always personal and private. Sex is never a spectator sport.
  5. Choosing to express your sexuality is a conscious act. Allowing it to “just happen” or engaging in sex when you are less than fully conscious is dangerous and diminishes your ability to give it the consideration it deserves.
  6. Letting someone know your body and exploring someone else’s body is an amazing experience. It should only be done with someone you respect and trust. Sex should never be used to gain power, popularity or as a cure for loneliness.
  7. Before you let anyone know your body, make sure they have shown you that they care enough to want to really know you.
  8. Before you invite someone to really know you in an intimate way, spend time getting to know yourself. As you better understand who you are, what you believe in, and what you care about, you begin to be ready to share yourself with someone else.
  9. Never pretend to care about someone as a way to get him or her to be sexual with you.
  10. Being sexual with someone should feel good. It should never be painful, disgusting or humiliating.
  11. Sex is always a two-way street. If the person you’re with only cares about their own pleasure, they don’t really care about you.

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