Helping parents raise healthy and responsible kids.
CURRICULUM
Teaching Children About Sex
The onset of puberty provides parents and educators with a window of opportunity for introducing children to the magnificent possibilities and responsibilities of becoming adult members of our community. This is a time when kids still want to hear what we have to say. Parents can begin a dialogue about sexual ethics and personal integrity. Educators can provide reproductive information in a positive, responsibility-based context.
The Curriculum for Sexual Health and Responsibility (see below) maximizes the potential of both parents and educators to prepare children for the physical and emotional changes they will experience in puberty. It invites children to become active participants in their own maturation process by developing a sense of personal power that comes from self-respect and self-discipline.
The confusion our kids experience about sex reflects a culture that dissects the amazing complexity of human sexuality into separate industries, using each aspect of sex as a marketing strategy. These include:
- The social power aspect of sex: Being sexy and popular is very important to preteens and teens as they define their social/sexual identity and try to establish their place in the social hierarchy of their peers. Using the power of sex as a tool to get what you want is explicitly taught by the media and is reinforced by peers. The explosion in emphasis on the social power aspect of sex is altering how our kids define their sexuality.
- The sexual desire aspect of sex: New feelings of sexual desire can overwhelm teens and interfere with their ability to make healthy decisions. More often than not, no one is talking to kids about the power of sexual desire or teaching them about the inner strength people need to control and positively direct the energy of that desire.
- The biology aspect of sex: Kids see biology sex and reproduction as belonging to science class, sex-ed classes, and the Discovery Channel. It’s often the only aspect of sexuality a child ever hears an adult talk to them about and is in no way connected to sexual desire or the power of being sexy. From a kid’s point of view, biology sex is embarrassing, technical, kind of gross, and somehow related to babies and disease.
- The relationship aspect of sex: Relationship can involve intimacy, love, romance, music, poetry, and varying levels of commitment. Kids learn about relationships and commitment from watching the people around them, as well as from media and the arts. Many kids tell us that sex is OK if you’re in love. But what does this mean? Few teens have conversations with caring adults about what constitutes a healthy, loving relationship. We rarely ask them what love means to them or help them think through how they would know if they love someone, or if someone loves them.
- The moral/ethical aspect of sex: What is the right thing to do? What principles of human behavior do you apply to deciding when, how, and with whom to have sex? Historically, this is where religion weighs in and offers a way to understand the role of sex in our lives and set guidelines for sexual behavior. Some parents align with their religious guidelines, some do not, and others are looking for ways to discuss ethical sexual behavior without religious guidelines.
This curriculum has been taught in both public and independent schools and has been tailored to fit the sensibilities of both conservative and liberal religious communities.
The Curriculum for Sexual Health and Responsibility connects the dots between all aspects of sexuality and, at the same time, respects that the moral questions concerning sexual behavior need to be addressed at home and/or in one’s place of worship. Parents are participants in the curriculum. In two comprehensive presentations, parents are shown how to:
- Begin and sustain a dialogue with their kids about sex throughout childhood and adolescence.
- Set guidelines for Internet use.
- Help kids develop the muscle of self-discipline.
- Create strategies that diminish the impact of the media and peer pressure.
- Sort through one’s own values and communicate those values to their children.
Below is a detailed description of the curriculum.
A Curriculum for Sexual Health and Responsible Behavior
Parent Meeting I: Understanding the Curriculum
Parents are introduced to the sexual/media/peer realities of their child's social environment during a dynamic presentation involving teens’ own stories and community-relevant statistics. Parents are walked through the curriculum and told what aspects of sexuality will be covered in the classroom and what they are expected to address at home. Ample time is given for Q & A.
Goal: No parent leaves without a thorough understanding of the curriculum, time to have their questions answered, and a plan for starting this important conversation at home.
Classroom Session I: Introduction to Puberty
Puberty is introduced within a context of reproductive responsibility. Children create a five-pointed star. Each point represents a part of themselves that changes in puberty: body, mind, feelings, friendships and family. The “me” in the middle of the star represents their personal integrity. Each “point of change” is discussed through stories and role-play as children examine the challenges and responsibilities that come with adolescence.
Parent Meeting II: Talking about Ethical Sexual Behavior/Raising a Responsible Adult
Parents are introduced to the many elements that go into discussing ethical sexual behavior with their children. They are given guidelines for defining their values with regard to sex and have an opportunity to discuss how they would address those values with their kids. The challenges of ethical decision-making, peer and media pressure, the role of the Internet in social/sexual development, the power of self-discipline and handling the difficult questions are discussed in a lively question and answer format.
Goal: Parents are ready to discuss the moral/ethical aspects of sexual behavior with child. They understand the importance of sustaining an on-going dialogue about ethics throughout their child’s development.
Classroom Session II: Learning to Care for and Control Your Changing Body
Children are separated by gender and shown a video describing the physical changes that take place during puberty. The biological facts of sexual reproduction are presented as a source of power that each individual must learn how to control and direct in a responsible manner. Children are introduced to the idea that sexual feelings can be manipulated by the media and by peers, and are encouraged to talk to their parents about how people learn to control their sexual energy.
Classroom Session III: Protecting Your Immune System
The responsibilities of puberty are reinforced with attention paid to fortifying and protecting ones immune system. Children view a short video describing immune system functioning. AIDS is introduced as one threat to the immune system than can be minimized by responsible behavior, information and self-discipline.
Classroom Session IV: Understanding Peer and Media Manipulation
Children revisit the five-pointed star and discuss how their peers and the media can affect the choices that they make. Children learn how advertisers manipulate desire by playing on kids’ sense of self-worth. Children create their own commercial using these techniques and discuss ways of guarding themselves from the negative impact of advertising.
Classroom Session V: Self-Respect Equals Self-Discipline
Children review the changes and challenges of puberty and create a shield of protection. Exercising the muscle of self-discipline is discussed using stories and role-play. Strategies for dealing with challenging situations are discussed. Each child generates a list of caring adults that he/she can go to when they have questions or when faced with challenging situations.